You Know what I hate??!

I found something else that I hate and that bothers me. Shocker!

People with weak handshakes. Don't be a pu@#y! Get a firm grip at my hand and show me your kryptonite shake. I'm not asking you to crush it, because that's way too intense and there should be a happy medium in the art of proper handshaking, but a weak flimsy handshake? Its a big NO. Right there, you are making a lame first impression. I am going to judge you right off the bat because of that lame handshake and you know what I'm going to say "Geez this person sucks." And maybe you don't, so maybe you should work on your handshake because it's giving you a bad reputation.

You know what else I hate? People who speak in such low volumes that it's a whisper. Speak the F$%ck up! Why are you whispering?!!!!! Why do you talk low??? Why do you sound like you have marbles in your mouth?? You are NOT Marlon Brando in the Godfather and I am positive your larynx box wasn't removed by a Disney villain, so please speak up. You know what I do to people who speak really low?? I'm a bitch. I say things like "I'm sorry, can you speak up?" and then I lean my head in with a concerned look. Or I say, "I'm sorry I couldn't hear what you were saying, you speak so low!". Um, catch my drift.

You know what's even worse?? People with weak handshakes that speak in whispers. Kill yourself. For real. Just kill yourself. You are doomed bc no one can hear you or take you seriously.

Here's to you. Here's to me.

Kathy