What a wild bunch of Coconuts! Baby Buccio Update- Week 36

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FACEBOOK POLICE- YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT.

*** DISCLAIMER: THE VIEWS EXPRESSED IN THIS BLOG BELOW ARE MY PERSONAL TWO CENTS. THEY HAVE NO AUTHORITATIVE CLAIM (THOUGH I LIKE TO THINK SO) AND ARE SHARED FOR THE SAKE OF AMUSEMENT AND FUN. IF YOU HAVE SENSITIVITY ISSUES AND CAN'T TAKE A JOKE, THIS BLOG IS NOT FOR YOU. IF YOU ARE WILLING TO MAKE FUN OF YOURSELF LIKE I HAVE, THEN RIDICULE AWAY! ***

We can all agree that Facebook has changed the way we communicate and interact in the 21st century. Mark Zuckerberg is to this century what Alexander Graham Bell was in the 19th century when he invented a little thing called the telephone. (which I'm sure lives in some artifact museum somewhere in the world or is collecting dust in your house, right?) In many cases, Facebook has advanced the soapbox of social media and has grown powerful in its technological resources and methods of communication whether you are messaging, poking, updating your status, creating events and movements, or simply posting your private photos for public consumption. In today's world, that's the way we are getting out what we need to say or vent. In a world laced with acronyms like "lol, omg, fml, wtf," Facebook, though brilliant, is just another way to minimize speech. All this can be done from a computer, a handheld device, and even from the luxury of your vehicle speakerphone. Yes, it is true. Some of the newer car models out today, have a Facebook feature where you can post a new update or check a friend's page all by speaking to a mysterious voice when it is summoned. It's very James Bond meets school girl chic. The point is, we have minimized the need for verbal communication, which in turn makes us humans, a little more socially awkward and dumb (sorry, but it's true), when it comes to one-on-one interactions. We don't know what to say because we are so used to writing it. We don't remember birthdays or anniversaries because now Facebook does it for us. it requires little effort on our end. Granted, I love Facebook because I hate the telephone so I think it's an epic addition to my social life. But i also have never been one to suffer from social retardation. I can banter with the best of them. I just find telephone conversations useless, for the most part.

Which brings me to my next point. There is a Facebook line that is a little fuzzy and often gets crossed. And that's the TMI/over sharing epidemic that we ALL have been guilty of, or we know someone (or some people, or sometimes our whole friend list) who constantly violates the over sharing policy. Now, there is no Facebook police giving infractions for such violations (even though there should be), but I, along with a few others, are always on the lookout for these violators who think it necessary that anyone cares about the idiocies that they post. Just a reminder, that even if your page is private, Facebook is still public. Duh. And all your 672 friends on your private page, are still reading and probably laughing or rolling their eyes at the crap you're posting( I'm sure I've been laughed at but very minimally). Not everything is for Facebook. I repeat. Not everything is for Facebook. You might think people care, but when you really think about it, probably only you, and your grandmother cares. No one else. Here are some status update blunders that are NOT okay and you probably should only be sharing in your head. Also no need to get sensitive if you know you are guilty of one or all of these. And the reason I can call the violators out is because I have been guilty of a couple of them myself. The difference is, I learned from my annoying mistakes/updates.


The Dead Wall- I'm sorry for your loss. I really am. Heck, I have lost a few people too. But to post it on your Facebook every anniversary or birthday is just emotionally exhausting for your friends who are forced to awkwardly read and respond to your post about your dead grandma or dad in heaven ("2 years ago today we lost a great woman! 11 months since we lost uncle john! we know you're in heaven"). waa waa. Also, dead people don't have Facebook. And I think it's safe to say that the only people that care about your dead relatives is your family. Facebook is not the dead wall or your own personal cemetery so try to honor and remember the dead other ways- like lighting a candle, buying flowers, and saying a prayer all in the privacy of your home and head.

The "Monthaverseries"- Oh geez. Don't get me started on these. They're prevalent with the younger set when it comes to a new relationships, newlyweds, birthdays, etc. When you post, "happy 5 month anniversary to my wifey/hubby!" Um, okay Kim Kardashian. Don't brag yet. Or I've seen a couple of these: "happy (insert # of months here) month birthday to my Maltese, Tinkerbell!!!" Monthaverseries are not meant as a celebration unless you just got out of rehab and you are counting your sobriety. I'll give you a free pass for that one.

The Quote Whores- No one loves a good inspirational quote more than me. I do love quotes and I love inspiration and following your dreams. It's all lovely and positive. What I don't like is the over quoters. The people who must update their status updates at least twice and even three times a day with motivational or inspirational quotes. Too many quotes seems desperate and attention seeking. Geez. We get it. You want to be inspired. But just FYI- just because you post it, it doesn't mean all your wildest dreams are going to come true. It still requires you to do work.

The "I think I work for ESPN" syndrome- I'm indifferent to sports. I can't necessarily say that I hate sports, because I actually like baseball, but when my Facebook wall is bombarded with stupid sports updates from retarded guys about a team, a player, a draft, a game, a season, etc, all I can do is throw up in my mouth. I HATE it and I roll my eyes. Especially college football. It's so annoying. Seriously, if I cared about "The U"' or "The Gators" or "insert sports team here", I would watch ESPN. Plus, is that the only thing that you can post about?? Is there anything else that's exciting going on in your life?? Or is your amateur sports career really taking off from your couch?? It's Super Bowl this week. I can't hardly contain myself.

The passive/aggressive bully- Facebook is NOT the forum to passive aggressively call out other people when you are pissed or annoyed. For starters, if you aren't going to directly call out a person by their name, then don't waste your time doing it on a status update. It does not make you cool or brave. It makes you look like a big tool that hides behind the Facebook wall and every one of your friends is making fun of you. So the next time you want to blast someone on Facebook, (i.e. "Who needs friends who are never there for you when you need them and then they expect you to be by their side. You know who you are?!!!!!") Why don't you just delete this "friend" and save yourself the passive/aggressive embarrassment.

The TMI mom- You probably have a few of these on your page. I personally, pregnant or not, cannot deal with those moms that over share. So your baby or kid is doing "pipi in the potty" or "did caca for the first time on their own!" or "my baby is colicky and won't sleep!" is not anything I really care to read (unless you are asking for feedback from other Facebook moms and they can message you privately. That's acceptable.) TMI. I'm not taking away from the amazingness of potty training, but it's just not something that belongs on your Facebook page. No one cares and it's gross. Unless the kid threw shit on your face, then okay. Because that's kind of funny.

The "I only take loser lonelies for fun" liars- I love loser lonelies! A loser lonely is an amateur modeling shot taking by you (in most cases) on a camera or a smart phone device making some sort of sexy face with fuck me eyes. It's when you know you look hot and want to broadcast it to the world. If you have it flaunt it! I love to post these on my wall. I don't post many, but when I do, they're smashing! I've always said self-absorption and narcissism are healthy in moderation. But then there are the those that are in the closet or try to pass their loser lonelies as "just something they do for fun or pretend." YEAHHH. Good try. If you are posting them on Facebook or going out of your way to make the Playboy come hither expression, there is nothing "pretend" about it. You are all about showing yourself off in your Facebook world. So stop lying and take responsibility for your loser lonely portfolio. You look more like an idiot when you deny it. And for those of you who post loser lonelies and you're still ugly, don't stop. We still like to use your material for comedic relief behind your back. Because making fun of people to their face is not right or nice.

The Debbie downers- I've hidden quite a few Debbie downers on my page. I keep some on my page though because we like to make fun of them. But these are the "friends" that make you want to kill yourself. These "friends" only post depre or sad updates on their Facebook. Anything from "I have a headache." "Not having a good day." or "When someone stabs you in the back, they aren't worth your time." "If you've been disappointed once by the same person, don't be surprised when it happens again." Goodness. Kill yourself. Debbie Downers are just like that amazing SNL skit with Rachel Dratch! Only they are chronically depressing. HIDE!

The photo bombers- I recently had to hide an extended family member from all my albums because she was a serial photo comment bomber. Not two seconds after posing a picture, I already had a comment. And then I had like 10 comments after a minute. It's too much. Don't get me wrong, I love when people comment on a picture or a two, but when you have to comment on 47 pictures just because you need to leave your mark, it's stupid. Same goes for tagging!

Where do apostrophe's go? - I'm a sucker for grammar. I can't stand when people can't spell or use punctuation incorrectly. Let me just preface this by saying that I still make grammar errors. When I do catch myself about to make a mistake or I post something with a grammatical error, I take it down immediately. I hate when people don't know the difference between "your" and "you're" or "their" and "there". But nothing bothers me more than the misuse of apostrophes! Apostrophes show ownership- i.e. Kathy's laptop. The Buccio's kitchen. That's correct usage. What's not correct? - "Having coffee and biscuit's!" or "I love my kid's!" or "the Sierra's are going to Europe!". That doesn't make sense and you look like a dumb ass. Always proofread.

The Vague- I can't stand when people are vague. It drives me nuts since I'm super nosy. I'm convinced that vague people just want attention. They want you to ask them what they're referring to or what they're talking about. If you are posting a vague status update on your public Facebook wall, it's because you obviously want to share something with your 786 friends. Or you want 786 people to follow up your post with "TELL ME!!" Examples about straight up vagueness, "Got the best news this morning! Fingers crossed!" "Praying hard for something to come true!" Um, if you aren't ready to dish or share, be quiet. No one wants to play Guess Who? with you!

The political amateurs- It's an election year which means time for every die hard Republican (because it's mostly the Obama bashers that are getting "in your face" on Facebook ) to use Facebook as a political soap box and quite frankly, it's so distasteful, rude, and annoying. I'm not saying don't have an opinion about candidates, about a specific issue, or about a primary, but Facebook isn't the place to lecture all your friends on why Obama caused the economic crisis or Romney doesn't care about the super poor. It feels like your shoving it down people's throats. Whatever happened to respecting each other's political views instead of bashing? Funny enough, I was watching a local news segment yesterday on how political debates on Facebook cause many to "de-friend" some of their peers because they feel that their "friend" is being disrespectful or trying to forcefully impose their views on others. It becomes exhausting. Let's not forget what the purpose of Facebook is- to network, not to preach your political views. Whatever our views or outlook on elections, issues and candidates let's remember two things- none of us have ever been president so it's easier to preach doctrine if you've never actually held office. And secondly, let's agree to disagree respectfully. We like the fact that you have an opinion and you are involved and that in itself deserves merit. So don't knock each other. At the end of the day, we all want a better country. Facebook just isn't the place for haters.

Don't forget the lyrics- I mentioned this one to my husband the other day and he tells me, "well i like to quote lyrics because I do it in a clever way." Hmm. I don't know about that. I hate when people quote lyrics. (By now you are probably thinking, "Damn. Kathy hates a lot of things." Well, yes. Yes I do!) I especially hate when people quote lyrics when they just went through a break up. I get it. You're sad. I would be sad too. But I wouldn't go on Facebook and post lyrics from Adele's "Rolling in the Deep" or some Lady Antebellum song on my status update so I can make everyone else miserable. But why quote a song? I get you like it. Chances are I like it too, but I don't want to read them on your Facebook page. It's unoriginal and if I really wanted to know the words to a song, I would look for it online, just like I did when I wanted to memorize Missy Elliot's One Minute Man.

Facebook Chain letters- If you don't send this to nine people, you will get hit by a car and live under a bridge for 5 years. PFFT. I hate chain letters and I hate the people that send them. Why? Because I have also been a sucker and sent chain letters for fear that I would get hit by car or live under a bridge. Gosh I hate myself for falling into the trap! But no more! However, chain letters have found their way onto Facebook. Those sneaky slime balls. Only this time they are in the form of Facebook updates asking you to re post because it's "sister week!" or "cousin day". And they are SO lame. They usually begin something like this "If you go to work 9-5 and come home to clean, cook, and take care of your husband....then you are a WIFE! Re post this as your status." or "Re post this to your status if you have a sister. A sister is someone you love but you also want to strangle. Who is always there for you when you need her and is a shoulder to cry on..blah blah blah." Seriously, who cares??? Why would I want to post this!??? Chain letters are stupid. They serve zero purpose but to instill fake fear in you. So if you are a smart person who has a brain and common sense, do not re post this.

Baby birthdays- I left this one for last because it seems to be debatable. I have many friends who think it's ridiculous when parents wish their kids a happy birthday or someone posts a happy birthday message on their friend's page meant for the kid(s). I can see how it can be completely unnecessary and silly to do so considering babies can't read and they don't have a Facebook page (and if they do, shame on you because you're an ass!). I don't have a problem with this. It really doesn't bother me all too much because birthdays are a nice milestone, especially kids' birthdays. (I do think their should be a cut off age. Like 9, before you hit the double digits.) It does bother me when it's worded in a way that's childish or goo goo gagaish or it speaks directly to the kids (i.e "Happy Birthday Steven! Mommy loves you THIS big!" "Happy Birthday to my Princess Carolina for being the bestest little girl in the world!" Um, Steven and Carolina can't read. Here's an alternate way to say it where it's not so hokey: "Happy Birthday to my baby boy Steven. God has blessed us with a great kid!") Do you see why that works better?? Because you aren't directly speaking to your kids on your adult Facebook page. Same applies to pets. And God knows I love my pets. But they can't read and don't have Facebook. But more importantly, no one cares. Don't even get me started on Dogbook. I do like a dog in a party hat, though. It's festive.

Who died and made me Facebook Nazi?!

What are YOUR Facebook pet peeve???

Here's to you. Here's to me.

Kathy.

Can't get you out of my head! - Baby Buccio Update- Week 35 (New Maya mugshots and ADDENDUM)

Hello Honey boos!

And such a sweet day it is! Today Coco and I went to our last big ultrasound at Lenox Hill hospital and we got to see Maya's beautiful mug! Unbelievable to fathom that the next time we will see our beba will be in the flesh. We still can't believe it. The word "exhausted" has been taken to a new level after this weekend. The three block walk to the hospital alone left me panting, tired, and feeling like I had just climbed Mt. Everest which I have no desire to do by the way. But to see her face on that machine was worth the shortness of breath.

She is a looker with a growing brain! (i think she has coco's lips and my nose!) Takes after me, of course ;) She is already in the head down position so every time we feel her move and kick, its her little legs which are jammed into my rib cage handstand style that are doing most of the moving. (Paris Olympics 2024 maybe?? ) Her head pressing against my bladder is also the reason I'm running to the bathroom in the middle of the night or throughout the day thinking I have to gush but really it's just light rain. She had her arm wrapped around her neck and she had her eyes closed but was moving around. She weighs 5.5lbs and doc says she'll probably be about 7lbs, which hopefully won't make my vagina (or me) cry too much.

To get back to our exhausting weekend, Coco and I decided to load our plate with everything baby you can possibly imagine. I mean, you would think we would have learned from our past impulses or taking on too much and strongly declaring "NEVER AGAIN!" But no. Why buy one house, when you can buy two at the same time and double your stress!? Why have one dog when you can make it even more interesting with three!? And why do major home renovations when you are six months pregnant and just got laid off therefore experiencing three big life changes for the mental price of one? Oh, because we are the Buccio's and we somehow, maniacally, make it work. So this weekend because a trip to Target, Costco, and Buy Buy Baby in 3.5 hours (because that's how long our zip car was reserved for), wasn't sufficient enough for us, we also decided to add a 4 hour childbirth class, a maternity tour, AND seven hours worth of laundry (this probably would have been six if it weren't for me adding way too much detergent and filling the laundry room with soap suds. oops.) Are you exhausted yet? Because I'm already passed out just writing it! Let's quickly discuss the childbirth class. Our maternity nurse, Latifa (no relation to Queen), was extremely helpful, informative, and her super soothing voice made it easy to pay attention and not dose off. It really felt like I was cramming for a big test or taking a Kaplan course, only to get to the real thing and realize that NOTHING I studied for was on the test. FML. She had diagrams, mannequin babies from the early 90's ( I swear one of them had a belly ring) and even a a stuffed placenta and pelvis toy which she graphically used to demonstrate how the baby will rip right through me. Awesome. There were lots of pictures of cervix, and baby heads going through said cervix, and little graphs that showed a rollercoaster of pain level when it came to contractions. Coco and I did breathing exercises- lots of "hee hee hoos" and "in 1-2-3, out 1-2-3". I was really loving him at that moment but the nurse did remind him that I would probably not be as loving, or pretty in the labor room and so he should be ready to forgive me when I call him an ass face in my darkest moments. We learned to swaddle a baby like a burrito, a language Coco knows well. His burrito was way better than mine. And we changed diapers and bottle fed our mannequin babies and learned how to properly burp them. You would think that with all the baby contraptions and furniture that we have had to build (and by we I mean Coco) with the help of a thick instruction manual, that a baby would come with one too. Maybe if I push hard enough, i can miraculously pop out a laminated "here's all you need to know about raising your baby, you silly fool" booklet. That's my fortune cookie wisdom for the week.

I am 35 weeks pregnant and overall still positive and feeling really good despite slowly losing energy. Yes, my back still hurts, my indigestion has me burping weird food tastes, and my insomnia keeps me up until 3am watching bad TV and writing thank you notes, but other than that, I have very little to complain about. And no stretch marks! Glorious. I go through moments of "I'm so ready to have this baby!" to my stomach dropping thinking "OMG. What am I supposed to do with a baby??". The influx of emotions you and your significant other feel during these last couple of weeks range from complete and utter elation to paralyzing fear and anxiety. But I'm lucky I have Coco and vice versa, to share in all these feelings. It makes the ride more calm-inducing when you have that support. (Seriously, more power to single parents who do this alone. You are my heroes.) And nesting? Don't even get me started. It is in full psycho-obsessive mode. My nesting knows no limits.

Next week I go for my GBS test (checks for vagina strep that can be harmful to baby) and some more blood work. I'll be seeing the WU once a week from this point until delivery.

Maya's room is 95 percent done! So next week I'll have pictures to share. Just waiting on my window panels and voila! C'est finite! Oh I think I mentioned it above, but we washed all of Maya's clothes, toys, sheets, covers, etc. Everything is so tiny and so cute but my hands are sore from so much folding. So this week we will pack the hospital bag when we aren't so tired.

Well peeps, we are almost there. And as always, it's been a pleasure having you on board. I thank you for riding the baby skies with me. Chat with you next week!

MILF in training,
Kata


ADDENDUM:

You're probably thinking, "An addendum? I can't even spell that (I know I had to spell check it) But it's Tuesday, why are we getting another one of these baby newsletters?"

Well, gang. Coco and I experienced our first labor trial run. A couple of hours after hitting "send" to the 35 week baby buccio update, I started feeling pressure and pain in my lower abdomen area and I called my doctor's office to see what I should do. I had just finished a sushi dinner with tons of spicy mayo sauce (which at first I thought was giving me these weird gas cramps). The doctor on call sent me to the hospital at about 1030pm at night. To our disbelief, I was having early contractions. WHAT THE F@$@CK! I was not prepared- not emotionally, mentally, and worse aesthetically. Only my hair was blown out but my eyebrows looked like caterpillars and my manicure was not intact. All these appointments were set for Wednesday. So besides being in a state of numbness, shock, confusion, fear, excitement, the narcissist in me kept thinking, "Maya cannot meet me looking so camera un-ready!"

Okay, so back to these pesky contractions, which now I know what they feel like because I was really worried I wouldn't know when I was actually having a contraction. They took me to a small room where they hooked me up to a fetal monitor for like 4 hours to check how far apart and how long these contractions were happening. I was getting them every 10 minutes and some other ones every 2-3 minutes which the doctor found irregular. Oh, and Maya was perfectly happy and content, kicking and moving around, which the monitor picked up on and the doctor said she was doing great and had no care in the world. Phew. But if i know this little stranger, I'm sure she's pouting "I don't want to be in there anymore, this is so stupid. Get me out of here." Lack of patience comes from her mother's side.

So after an hour of checking the contractions, the doctor gave me a cervix test to see if I was dilating. I was about half a centimeter dilated so they wanted to make sure that the contractions weren't going to cause me to dilate more, so to be safe, they kept me on the machine for 2 more hours and me had drink two 711 Big Gulps of water (because that's what they looked like) since hydration can sometimes help space out the contractions. And thankfully, the water did help space them out and after a second cervix test, i was still at half a centimeter. The doctor sent me home and told me I have to monitor my contractions today and if I feel pain, to come back in. But that hopefully with some rest and water, they would subside. she also suggested I rest and not "overdo it". So that's what I'm doing today. Laying on the couch, taking naps, and watching HGTV. But, I will be running out to get these eyebrows done. Bed rest or not.

So that's our story! It was definitely good practice for the real thing. I know and feel a little bit better of what to expect even though its still feels like a dream. Same goes for Dr. Coco, who probably realized that there's a reason why he doesn't have a medical license and not everything you see on Grey's Anatomy applies to the real world. He was a great support though and made me laugh when I had a small breakdown and he was so deliriously happy which was a good balance in the situation. Plus no one enjoyed the cervix exam more than him. Seriously. And I think he learned what to do and what not to do when his terrified, but very quiet pregnant wife gives him the Cuban steel stare.

I'm home now and feeling fantastic but tired and I really am taking it easy! No need for alarm. This tiny little skank gave us quite the scare and surprise but I love her so much more after this dress rehearsal. We are so blessed.

Sweet like Honey! - Baby Buccio Update - Week 34

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You wanna look rich, eat some truffles!

I recently went to dinner with the girls (and Coco) at Asellina, the sleek and modern Italian restaurant at the Gansevoort Park Hotel. I had one of the best pasta dishes I have ever had at any restaurant and of course, it was the special AND it had truffles. You either love or hate the taste of truffles. They really are a delicacy and to me, they boost the flavor of any meal. Now, what makes it special is that not only is it expensive to acquire but it is sporadically used by chefs when they cook. Did you know there is an intense truffle market out there with bidding wars and all? ( I recently watched a special on truffles). It would lose its pizazz if it was over exposed and/or over used on just any dish.

Just take a look at this plate of pasta please! It is a truffle pappardelle with butter and olive oil and I added some parmesan cheese for an extra pop. DIE! DIE! DIE! If you must know, I didn't share any of this truffle amazingness with my friends or husband and I ate every single bite. If I could have eaten the plate, I would have.

Isn't it a beauty?! I left with a big grin and a very happy belly.

Miss Maya's Miami Shabby Chic Shower!

(Badgley Mischka dress provided by Rent the Runway and makeup done by the uber talented, Jessie Diaz from Makeup Artistry by Jessie)

I want to start off by saying that I have some of the most amazing girlfriends and sisters on the planet. Sure, everyone says that, but I REALLY have them! I've known most of these girls and their families since I was 15 years old, where we met as sophomores at Our Lady of Lourdes Academy. From that moment on, an everlasting sisterhood between Vivi, Adri, Christy, Rebeca and myself was formed. We have grown up together, have seen each other through high school proms and dances, first hangovers, study abroad programs, heartbreak, sickness and death, marriages and babies. And all along, we have maintained a sense of unity, love, and support amongst each other. They have always treated me like family and for that, I will always be grateful to them.

So when it came time for my baby shower, they made sure that I had the most memorable, gorgeous, and meaningful shower that I always envisioned for my little girl! As most of you know I am a control freak. I make no apologies for it! And it's very difficult for me to give up control and sit idle. Trust me, I'm working on it! But I put my faith in their hands when it came to all things planning. I gave them an idea of what theme I wanted (shabby chic), what kind of food (arroz imperial) and drinks (champagne of course!), and some shower do's and dont's (i.e no baby shower games.) They would take care of the rest. Now, surprises give me anxiety BUT I also know that I cannot always get my way and have to trust other people's instincts, so I did! And let me tell you, what a breathtaking surprise it was!!!

One of my closest friends, Adri P.S (not to be confused with my other Adri), did all the invites and the food place cards! That set the tone for the decor and style of the shower! It was very shabby chic! Imagine colors like white, baby pink, soft sky blue, and washed out green, with a birdcage print. It was simply divine! The centerpieces were either white skinny vases or pink glass votives with white hydrangeas and small stems of baby breaths (baby breaths are only acceptable with shabby shic themes), all mismatched over beautifully embroidered linen table clothes and napkins. I had cake pops, a cake that was super delicious and looked just like the design on the invites, and the music was a mix of Parisian, Bossa Nova, and old Cuban standards.

One special thing the girls did for me was buy Maya one of my favorite books growing up, Jose Marti's La Edad de Oro, and all the guests wrote a personal message inside. It was my abuela Maya who at the age of 3, started to teach me to read in Spanish with stories like Don Qioxote and La Edad de Oro. It was so touching! The affair was intimate- about 25 people. I'm not really big on ginormous guest lists. I rather events be intimate (sans a wedding of course) with those I'm close with and care about the most. It was so great to see my dad, especially since it was the first time he saw me pregnant in person. He of course, became emotional. He cries a lot. My awesome aunt Liza was the photographer and she really captured the mood and essence of such a special day. I was truly overwhelmed with love! I wouldn't have wanted it any other way!

I got to mingle with lots of fabulous ladies (and Javy because he is included in ALL my festivities) and it was nice to spend an afternoon eating, having champers and sweets, but more importantly, celebrating a new life. After a couple of hours, we went inside to open gifts. I have to say I am not a fan of opening gifts in front of people or at showers. I mean, no one really cares what you get except you and maybe your closest friends and I feel its such punishment to make people sit through an hour of oohs and ahhhs and sometimes fake excitement over gifts you kind of knew you were already getting. But most people had left so it was only close friends that remained and I know my dad wanted me to open gifts in front of him and who am I to say no to my dad?!

I will never forget this truly magical day and I cannot wait to one day show Maya how many people already loved her before she made her big debut! And you know what the best part is?? I get to do it all over again in New York with some of the best friends and sister in laws a girl could ask for! If that's not a blessing of love, I don't know what is.

Here's to you. Here's to me.

Kata

The Sea is Calling!

Let's be honest. Most of us hate commercials or only care to watch them during the Super Bowl. But check out this GENIUS commercial by some very creative people at Royal Caribbean Cruises. Doesn't it make you feel happy go-lucky when you watch it? It's absolutely unique and what better setting than the bustling island of Manhattan where most people barely have time to look up from their blackberries and iPhones.

Tell me that this doesn't make you feel all fuzzy and silly inside?! I think I even cried a little.

Kudos to you, Royal Caribbean! (and Vivi, because I know you drive those ships during your lunch hour).

How do you want your ribs?

I have been meaning to write this particular blog for some time and something ( I will call it life) happens and I promise myself I am going to get to it and then I forget. But today i decided that I was going to get through most of the blog posts that I have been meaning to write and share them with my fellow foodies and fans.

Early in my pregnancy, I would say at like 5-6 months, clearly when i was out of my nausea hell, Coco and I had date night at a restaurant on the Bowery that I had been dying to try out. Coco loves when I pick out restaurants because it probably saves him the trouble of disappointing me ( even though he's taken me to some killer places) and because he's always impressed with my selections. So I wanted to try out Saxon + Parole, a high end and posh gastropub that specializes in grilling signature American dishes. It now sits in the space that was formerly Double Crown, which I had once dined at, and had a VERY eclectic and experimental menu. The scene and cocktails were great but the dishes were for the more adventurous type.

First off, as soon as I walked into the restaurant, I immediately loved the style and design. I prayed that the menu wouldn't disappoint me because I was falling in love already and I didn't want my heart broken. We started with some wine (yay for my one glass of wine a week!) and a couple of seafood appetizers. I am a huge shrimp cocktail fan (my mom would be so proud!) so I started with that and then I went BIG. How would you describe BIG?? I would describe it as ordering the $44 " big Guinness & five spice glazed short rib." It was all about the marinade, seasoning, and preparation when it came to the short ribs. Besides needing a good slab of quality meat, it is all about the way its prepared in order to illicit maximum flavor and enjoyment. I was stoked to get my hands on them! And boy, I was not disappointed!!! Nicely blackened and glazed, the meat literally fell apart and you didn't even need a knife. That's how tender it was. Every bite seemed like it was injected with some bold meat juices that didn't overpower the ribs themselves. So you were able to enjoy the dish from start to finish. Needless to say, I devoured and cleaned everything on my plate. Obviously, my fetus helped me. She seemed to like it. It was THAT good!

My maternity jeans were feeling cozier than usual at this point and my food coma propelled me to immediately pass out when I got home! No, there was no room for dessert, and really, who cares?? After an experience like that, my night of meats was a dining success!

Here's to you. Here's to me.

Kata

Pork Belly Delight!

I think I have proclaimed my love for pork pretty frequently on my blog. And one of my favorite ways to eat pork is in the form of pork belly or as us Cubans or Hispanics like to call it, "chicharron." Basically it's crispy pork skin and some really juicy fat in between. Some of my fondest memories with my dad are of him bringing me, when I got out of school, a white paper bag that had been stained with grease and inside were 10 pieces of chicharron so I could snack on. Evidently, I was not a carrot snacker. I was in the snack big leagues. I loved that a bag of chicharron only costed $1! If you're not a fan of animal fat, then this dish would not excite your taste buds. So pass that plate over to me!

Anytime I go check out a new restaurant and I see pork belly on the menu, I am automatically tempted to order it. And such was the case when this weekend I finally went to Joseph Leonard in the West Village. Joseph Leonard has been on my foodie radar since the moment it opened its doors and I got a notice from Urban Daddy. Everything from the ambiance and decor to the traditionally American inspired menu, was right up my alley. I went with Javy, my best friend since 2000, and he always marvels at the way I consume pork fat.

I had browsed the menu at home ( I often do that before going out to eat so I can mentally savor all the dishes and torture myself just a little bit) and when I saw the pork belly dish, I knew I was game. Even though I had already had a breakfast consisting of eggs, I'm pregnant so technically I can double dip on breakfast. At least in my book. So I ordered the crispy pork belly which came garnished and supplemented with corn cake, chimichurri sauce, and two fried eggs- a $15 dish.

It was scrumptious! Javy took a bite of it and agreed! The skin was perfectly fried to a healthy medium brown shade and the fat part was chewy and dripping with flavor without being watery. I hate watery or slimy fat. I like sturdy fat. The chimichurri sauce on the eggs and corn cake gave the dish an unexpected tangy flavor that lingered in your mouth in every bite. It was definitely different. I was extremely satisfied with my selection and it made my brunch experience at Joseph Leonard a positive one. I expect to be back to taste some of their entrees and appetizers that I've seen on their menu.

So if you're feeling daring and willing to take a risk and dig in to a dish you normally would steer away from, take a subway trip to this west village joint and accept the pork belly challenge! It is definitely worth it.

Here's to you. Here's to me.

Kata

Get your tickets on the Pineapple Express! - Baby Buccio Update- Week 33.

Moshi Moshi pretty people!

Hope you are all loving life and kicking ass!

I have hit 33 weeks and officially have 7 weeks to go! (or if i want to get technical, 6 weeks and 6 days). But really, who's counting??
Maya weighs as much as a pineapple right now- my fruity baby is at about 4.5 pounds and between 17-19 inches long! I am definitely feeling her kicks and her movements a lot more prominently now that she's getting bigger and outgrowing her abode. My ginormous belly looks like a beach ball and I can't resist the urge to constantly rub it and maybe grant myself three wishes! Physically I am feeling great and I am so thankful I still have a good amount of energy. Yes, I waddle more, get tired a little quicker, and I have to find creative ways to get myself out of bed or up from the floor, or basically use Coco as a human cane, but other than that, I'm still truckin'! I feel like a broken record complaining about my back but that has been my one major ailment during pregnancy. When I went to my chiropractor last week, he said that as my belly expands, so does my rib cage and the muscles in between the rib cage become strained and that is the pain I'm feeling. The weekly massages I am getting definitely help the cause! My insomnia comes and goes. Some days I can easily fall asleep at 10pm, other nights I'm up until 1am watching Storage Wars or some lame Kardashian take the world show on E!

This Saturday I took a maternity tour of Lenox Hill Hospital where we will be delivering Maya! I really do love that hospital (as much as someone can possibly love something so sterile and cold ). It is very welcoming and warm and their walls are colored in pastels (pastels are welcoming don't you think?!) I got to see the labor room, the C-section delivery room, the private rooms we can request if they are available day of, and also the double rooms, which I'm hoping I don't get because I don't like roommates. We also got to see the nurseries and they walked us through the check in procedure. The nurse told us that when the baby is born, mom dad and baby all get lo jack bracelets and if any movement is made to remove the baby without permission, the maternity ward shuts down, alarms go off, and men in black coats will come and hunt you down. These were the nurses words! (Sounds like a Bourne Identity movie). Overall, I feel super at ease with the facility.

And now that Beyonce and Jay-Z had their baby girl, Blue, I no longer have to worry about sharing the spotlight with Bey. She was very insecure about it and I don't blame her! Have you seen Maya's 4D photos?? Crazy in love.

We also made a pre-natal appointment to meet with a pediatrician that we heard lots of good things about. And the best part is he's a block away from the apartment! LOVE! Convenience is my middle name.

Thursday we finally get our glider! It actually looks like something out of architectural digest. I was beginning to worry that I would have to feed this baby indian style on the floor like a hippie! It is the last piece of furniture needed to complete the room and I cannot wait to see the whole thing once it's done! I just hope my beba linda loves her ballerina pink oasis.

I am soooooo looking forward to my NY shower in 5 days!!!!!!!! I cannot wait to celebrate with my friends and family and get to enjoy some delicious tea, crumpets, and champers!! To get to celebrate this little blessing with people that I love, is truly a gift! Not to mention that I have the perfect dress for the occasion! I'm eager to see what my creative planning committee has put together!! It really means the world to me and I bet once I walk through those doors, I am going to be blown away by some very delicious and decadent delights!

I'm enjoying my time of leisure and getting lots done like watching Oscar screeners, reading, and doing some freelance writing and blogging. I won't lie, I do miss going to work. It's the career girl in me! I'll be back eventually but for now I'm going to enjoy my free time and my QT with Maya. I am desperately excited to meet her!! I just wonder what she's going to look like? What is she going to sound like? What's going to make her cry? What will make her laugh? What will she think of us? So many thoughts and what ifs run through your mind! Oh, I finished reading The Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother for tomorrow's book club at my house and the book was absolutely brilliant! It was a good read. It fluctuated between funny, exhausting, sympathetic, and engaging. Much respect to the tiger mom and I related a lot to it because it reminded me of my own Cuban tiger mom! (only not as intense). At the end of day, it is a story about a mom trying to give her children the best. I recommend this book to all you ladies!

So that's all for this week! Next Monday I have a check up I can fill you all in on, as well as pictures from my shower!

MILF in training,
KATA

Baby got back! - Baby buccio update- Week 32.

Hello fancy faces!

Happy New Year to you all! I hope you had a great holiday season with your loved ones and are ready to dive into the 2012 pool! I wish you all a very prosperous, healthy, and happy new year. Coco and I had a really amazing Christmas down south with friends and family. First off, it was 80 degrees. Miami winters are very agreeable. I took the opportunity while back in sunny and warm Miami to take some really fabulous maternity photos with a high school acquaintance, Natalie, who owns her own company, SUNA photography. She was brilliant! And my makeup was done by my very dear and talented friend, Makeup Artistry by Jessie. The proofs were out of this world! Better than what I envisioned. I am VERY particular when it comes to what I like and I don't like anything cheesy. So I didn't want any shots of Coco holding my belly, kissing my belly, caressing my belly, etc. That's cool if you like it, but it's so not me. I wanted something whimsical, ethereal, but also beautiful and sexily understated. We then ventured to the Grand Cayman for a babymoon, or as I like to call it, any excuse for us to travel and get away! As I reminded Coco, this babymoon was our last vacation as a family of two! We spent most of our time lounging, drinking pina coladas, going to bed at 8:30pm, and watching my belly gyrate with Maya's dance moves. The beach was so relaxing and tropical and i strutted my big, bad belly in my Target swimsuit, to which one three year old vacation goer pointed to me and said "that's a big baby in there!". Ah, kids. We came home on New Year's Eve and spent it with great friends and actually got to see the ball drop from a chic hotel room without having to stand mushed together with the masses. That's not my bag!

I am 32 weeks pregnant and have 55 days to go! That is going to be here in the blink of an eye! The day is getting closer and Coco and I are getting more antsy, excited, nervous, terrified, and giddy. Not an unsurprising bag of emotions. We are now going to add "mom" and "dad" to our list of titles. Those little changes take a life of their own! She's almost four pounds and is already getting into her birth position. What a smart cookie! Maya is super active. We often wonder if she sleeps or is just really into after hours rave parties because she's always up! However, I'm not complaining since they say an active baby is a healthy baby. So dance the day away my little fly girl. Today Coco and i went for a check up with the Wu. You know what I am not going to miss from these doctor visits?? Urine tests where I clumsily pee all over myself trying to shoot into a plastic cup when I can no longer see or properly navigate my vagina. Yeah, gross. We listened to the baby's heartbeat, had my belly measured, and got weighed. I am now up to 137 pounds! So I've gained thus far, 26 pounds. Not too shabby! The Wu, Coco, and I discussed my childbirth plan again and we went back and forth and I've decided that I'm going to attempt the vaginal with lots and lots of drugs of course. God help me. I know I'm not the first woman to have a baby, but to me it feels like I am. Labor freaks me out more than anything. It's basically the one non-maternal thing I was not born with. but I'm going to give it a go! I figured if those nut job teenagers from MTV's Teen Mom can pop out kids and head to the local Chili's right after, then I can definitely put on my big, pregnant girl panties and do this thing!

My belly looks like a prosthetic attachment. i can't help but stare at it in the mirror. It's so shiny and silky. And for the record, I am all boobs, butt and belly. Bam! Bam! Bam! Baby got back. I'm waddling a lot more. Walking a little slower so I don't run out of breath. My back is a hot mess. I have to alternate between sitting and standing because its so uncomfortable. Same thing when it comes to sleep. I'm getting up to pee more frequently. I'm also getting more tired and really enjoying some nesting at home. And I'm experiencing those famous Braxton Hicks contractions that feel like your uterus is tightening up so your belly hardens. They aren't painful but are meant to prepare you for labor. Insomnia is kicking in from time to time and the indigestion and acid reflux I'm having is disgusting and a bit of a drag. Tums will be my new best friend.

Maya's room is 85 percent done! My super chic glider gets here this week and the room will be complete bearing a few things here and there. My next task is to wash all her newborn clothes. Now that I'm back in NY and don't have to go to work, I'll have more time to get the house ready, blog, read some more books ( I read 3 during my babymoon and now I'm going to start reading The Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother which I've been dying to read so I'm reading it for book club. Check it out! http://www.amazon.com/Battle-Hymn-Tiger-Mother-Chua/dp/1594202842) hit up museums, and practice all my snazzy manners I learned at the table etiquette class I took a couple of weeks ago! As I say, good manners take you a long way in life, relationships, and in your career. Plus it makes you less of a caveman.

And lastly, 13 more days until Maya's New York shower!!! I am so so so so so excited to get together with some pretty spectacular ladies for some tea and champers to celebrate the newest New Yorker on the block! I can't wait to see what the planning committee put together!

With that, I wrap up week 32! Thanks for reading my newsletter and I hope you got a kick out of it! (pun intended).

MILF in training,
Kat

Baby on the brain! - Baby Buccio Update- Week 31.

Ho! Ho! Ho! Maya Christmas everyone!

I hope everyone is recovering from food comas, sexy make outs under the mistletoe, and tacky holiday gifts! But I hope we all remembered what was really important today- baby Jesus' birthday ( do to think he keeps track of his age?!), spending time with family you love and hate and that inappropriate family member we all have to tolerate because it's Christmas, and cheesy Christmas movies on the Hallmark channel.

Maya is 31 weeks today! I'm officially 9 weeks away from my due date. In two months, coco and I are going to have a baby girl and people will now refer to us as "Maya's mom or dad" and not by our first names. Losing our identity one child at a time!

Maya is all about brain development this week ( hopefully she'll have her mother's elephant brain and her father's common sense). Her senses, minus her sense of smell, are already developed and she is keeping busy doing flips, turns, somersaults and twirls. Basically, my exercise regimen every Sunday. Not really. It's hard to describe the sensation I feel when she's ripping up the dance floor inside of me. It's simultaneously surreal and out of this world. She's measuring at over 16 inches and over 3lbs. I'm so proud of her.

Last night I had my first official horrible night of sleep. I feel like I need a pulley to help me get from my left side to my right side. The task is arduous and i feel like those morbidly obese people that are confined to their beds and can only move with the help of some sort of belted apparatus. Geez it's uncomfortable! And to add, I got an excruciating Charlie horse that almost made my leg fall off. So tonight I am sleeping on a reclining chair. Let's see how this experiment goes.

My feet are fat. They're wide and are retaining water and they look like clown feet. I miss my boney and veined feet. They were purdy. These don't belong to me. I'm also starting to experience shortness of breath. Since my uterus is growing and pushing up, all my organs are getting thrown around and rearranged like a disheveled sock drawer. I also can't sit or stand for two long so I have to alternate between the two.

Do you know what I think sometimes!? Obviously I know it's not possible but I'd be lying if I said I didn't think about it. Sometimes when I go to the bathroom to do my lady business, I think that if I push to hard the baby is going to pop out of me! Clearly this is unfounded but still it goes through my head. Also with sex, it's very common for couples to think they are hurting or poking the baby. I'm one of those (which is unfortunate for my husband!) I was reading that the baby stays real quiet during sex or actually moves as you groove. That's traumatizing to me and it weirds me out. And a sure sign that therapy sessions are imminent for this child! (and me) .

Coco and I are so excited for tomorrow! We are headed to Grand Cayman for our babymoon! Basically it's just another excuse to go on vacation but it'll be the last vacation coco and I will take alone before maya comes into the picture! I'm looking forward to planting my fat ass belly on a beach chair with my SPF 15 and 3 new books while I sip virgin piña coladas and Mai tais! I also plan to hang a "do not disturb" sign on my belly. Btw, this belly picture attached is not a prosthetic but my actual body which has been inflated to resemble a miniature blimp. It's kind of cool, fun to rub and jiggle. It's funny to hug people because I can't come in for a tight squeeze anymore since this little basketball is acting as a barrier! And no more squeezing through narrow spaces. Those day are temporarily over! I need to be greased and buttered to slither my way through any crevices.

So that's all for week 31 of baby buccio news! I hope you guys enjoyed my update and looking forward to filling you in as we near the finish line! I have to wrap it up because you know who is kicking my ribs to call it a night! Miss Maya needs her beauty sleep. Oh oh. I'm creating a mini me. And II'm a big fan of me so I'm excited about this but I can't say the same for everyone else. Ha!

Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!

Milf in training,

Kathy

My Cabbage Patch Kid! - Baby Buccio Update- Week 30

Greetings from the sunshine state!

It's a balmy 80 degree in Miami and it's sure looking like its going to be a pink flamingo Christmas. No complaints here! So happy to be back home celebrating Maya and the holidays with friends and family! I traded in scarves and puffer jackets for fake snow and bikinis.

This past Saturday was my Miami shower and it was absolutely beautiful and perfect. ( see pic attached! That's me! ) The theme was shabby chic with white hydrangeas in white ceramic vases and miniature pink crystal candle holders turned vases with baby roses and baby breaths ( note: baby breaths are only cool when used in shabby chic decor. Other than that, it's really tacky 80's garnish used in banquet hall weddings and horrible prom corsages). It was at my best friend Vivi's home and she has a delightful secret garden which fit in perfectly with the theme! It was so nice to catch up with so many amazing ladies and even my dad made an appearance with his "#1 abuelo" hat and VHS camera. I feel so utterly lucky and blessed to have such wonderful and caring friends in my life. They are my family. We've been friends since sophomore year in high school and our friendship has only grown with time through many ups, downs, and life changes! To think of us at 19 tearing through the streets of Salamanca getting drunk off 2 for 1 specials when we should have been studying and now we are off having kids and paying mortgages! ( and still getting drunk)

In about three weeks, I have another shower to look forward to- my new York shower also hosted by some of the most unbelievable and cherished friends and sisters a girl could ask for! I cannot wait to see what they have up their sleeves! Seriously, how did a girl get so lucky in the friend department!? Let the countdown begin!

So Maya is weighing about the same as a cabbage! About three pounds. From now until the day she hatches, she will gain half a pound which is pretty surreal. I can already tell she's feeling a little cramped in her studio (aka womb) apartment because I'm feeling her kicks on my rib cage a little more and it's just groovy! To think, I only have 10 weeks before coco and i get to meet her. 30 weeks! Time has flown and I've been living in a dream. Hmmm wonder if labor can also be all unicorns, rainbows and cotton candy? I doubt it. I've seen some disturbing birth videos lately and they're no Disney movie. Unless of course prince charming is riding to Lenox Hill hospital with some sweet ass epidurals and happy pills just for me. Or Maya is arriving first class priority stork and my vagina stays intact. Winning!

As far as to how I'm physically feeling, I have to say I'm doing pretty darn good, albeit a couple of minor setbacks. I'm getting my first dose of heartburn and it sucks. My stomach is literally sitting on my chest so each time I eat and lie down or go to sleep, it feels like I need to belch like a disgusting truck driver but really it's just indigestion that doesn't go away. So I'm trying to eat earlier so I have time to digest since that takes a little longer than usual. My well oiled machine needs some extra WD-40 in this last trimester! My back is still causing discomfort and my sleep requires more tossing and turning these days, which coco probably doesn't love! I'm dreaming a lot about babies and labor and about things that I swear happened but then I have to do a double take and remember if they were just dreams. Or were they?! I'm living my very own Inception. It's a little bananas. I run out of breath a little quicker. I can't walk for too long like I used to because it feels like my back is going to call it quits. My appetite really hasn't been ravenous but I do like to eat a big breakfast in the morning! Feet haven't swollen much yet. But I know it's coming! All I can think about though is meeting Maya! I can't get her out of my head :)

And scene! That's it for this week! Thanks for playing everyone and forgive me for any typos and for not including medical facts or more than one picture! I'm still iPhone illiterate and have no computer. Talk to you all Monday from our babymoon!

MILF in training,

Kata

Do you fancy a game of Squash? - Baby Buccio Update- Week 29.

Hi guys and dolls!

Apologies for the delay in update! But my computer is under the weather and I'm writing to you from my iPhone. So I apologize in advance for any Ebonics you may encounter. The iPhone made me do it!

Let's talk about Maya! I'm officially 29 weeks ( 7 months and a week) and Baby is the size of a squash and almost 3 pounds in weight! She's getting so big and in turn my belly is looking like a hot air balloon. I seriously don't know where else this belly is supposed to go. My doctor says out but I think she's a liar. Her Harvard degree doesn't fool me.

Speaking of belly, today I ventured to target in el barrio to try on some bathing suits for my babymoon. I' ll call it a "misadventure". It wasn't as fun as I would have hoped! I mean, I guess I still look decent enough for having swallowed a whole sporting goods store but trying to find a bathing suit top to fit my ginormous funbags, was no dance party. Not to mention that fitting room mirrors should be reserved for the funhouse at the fair. So unforgiving.

I've gained 21lbs so far. I'm at 132 with 10 weeks to go! Food is my best friend but the pregnancy insomnia that has creeped up on me in my third trimester is my annoying nemesis. Now, I'm a modern day sleeping beauty. I covet my sleep. It's as sacred to me as the Holy Spirit. And falling asleep at 3am watching bad VH1 reality shows and outdated infomercials that look like they were taped in 1986 with really bad hair is not my idea of shut eye. So I told my doctor about this and I was hoping she would prescribe some good ol' fashion wine but I wasn't that lucky. I got benadryl instead. Boring party favor. But overall, I'm feeling great and getting more terrified and excited as the due date nears. I keep having these obvious epiphanies that this baby has to come out somehow. That whole stork brings the baby story? Not real. Faker than Pam Anderson's cleavage. So either I have to push this baby out ( eeek) or get cut open. Whatever the method, I'm still undecided.

I'm headed to Miami this weekend for Christmas but more importantly, my Miami baby shower! I am so excited to hang out with my friends and family and to celebrate Miss Maya with some of the favorite women in my life! It's going to be spectacular thanks to some phenomenal sisters God has blessed me with!

Hope you enjoyed my update! I have attached a hot centerfold of me in the target fitting room ( lets we if I figure out how to do! ) for sheer entertainment. Please don't judge my super rad tube socks.

MILF in training,

Kata