I think it's safe to say that I'm an easily annoyed individual. I have very little patience and tolerance for many things. I'm also BIG on manners and basic etiquette so my disapproving stares and comments are not so far fetched when you check the source. I mean, you have to be a total buffoon not to have etiquette essentials engraved in your psyche. And I think manners, in combination with some other important traits, form the basis and likeability of any individual. Shame on your parents for not instilling them, and shame on you for being so stupid that you can't pick it up in old age.
With that said, I'm always shocked and disgusted when I travel and I see people blatantly engaging in such primitive behavior- acting as if they are sitting in their living room couch and not on a 747 with 200 people. Um, hello? See us? Yeah, we are the other 199 passengers. You're gross. Airplane etiquette is not that hard, minions. You should behave the same way you would if you were in public. Such as, clipping your nails might be stimulating for you, but I guarantee you the passenger sitting next to you holding that paper barf bag is so not impressed with your self-applied pedicure. Same goes for eating the most ill-smelling meal you could possibly pick up at the food court. Did you really need to eat a tuna sandwich? You couldn't go for a pizza, or a veggie sandwich, or even some Au Bon Pain? Was tuna the ONLY food choice available at this mega plex airport? If I were sitting next to you, I would smear the tuna all over your face and see how you like to smell that for the next three hours just for being inconsiderate. No bueno right? Too fishy.
My personal favorite, or should I clarify the etiquette no-no that really sets me off, is when passengers seem to think that because you have a designated seat and that you'll be travelling for x amount of time, that it is perfectly okay to remove not only your shoes, but your socks as well. So I have to stomach your ugly feet with unruly hair leaning against the seat for the next few hours? And to top it off, picking your nails and scratching your soles because it "feels right?". You are the most foul and unabashedly trashy individual I've ever encountered. I can't even look beyond if you're a good person or not, because your feet (and manners) speak for themselves. No one wants to see your naked feet. It's gross. Put some socks on. No flight is long enough for you to be barefoot. You should be escorted off the flight and made to wear a sign that says "My mother forgot to teach me basic manners." And walking up and down the aisle barefoot?! Don't even get me started. Where were you people born??!
Another plane violation that seems to happen frequently is passengers who refuse to listen to the flight attendants, seat belt signs, and pilot announcements. Don't be rude. These flight attendants are doing their job and keeping us safe in the air. So when the nice lady or gentlemen says that you shouldn't "congregate in the restrooms" (especially in post 9/11 era) then please don't. You'll be more comfortable in your seat than clogging the aisles and bathroom by standing outside the restrooms. Trust me, you'll get to tinkle (note: Gerard Depardieu is NOT a good example of this). Plus passengers don't need to suffer unnecessary panic attacks because you and your two friends MUST recount your recent all nighter outside the restrooms. Seat belts? I think its pretty self explanatory. It means to stay seated and buckle up. The sign covers every language across the board so you have to be a total moron not to understand it. If you fall during a bout of unexpected turbulence, I'm going to laugh at you. Lastly, when the pilot and/or flight attendant asks you to please not block the aisles when finding your seat so that other passengers can go through, it doesn't mean to please block the aisles as you stare and count the rows looking for your seat and there's a massive line that has started to form bc a) you can't count or read b) it is taking you ridiculously forever to put your carry on in the overhead bin. It's not rocket science. Wheels first.
Parents with kids. It is NOT cute when your child kicks my seat. It's rude. Smack your kid or tie him down. And when I turn around and ask you nicely to please have your child stop giving me unpleasant back massages, don't give me the "I'm so appalled you would ask" face. Control your kid. You're the parent right?! Or I can kick you and see how you like it.
I think we covered enough ground on Air etiquette. I'm sure we all have horror stories to share and I would love to hear them. And just for the record, no persons in the accounts above were hurt for the purpose of this blog post.
Here's to you. Here's to me.
Kathy.
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